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The Best Way to Say the F Word

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The F Word. Fat.

Nothing is more contagious. If you’ve ever been near a group of women and one of them says she’s fat, you better look out. That F-bomb is gonna explode like wild fire!


Suddenly every woman in the group jumps on the fat train and tries to “out fat” the woman next to her.

You think thats bad, well I cant even fit into my favorite jeans anymore!

Yeah, well Ive got cellulite spreading all over my body.

Im starting to get upper arm jiggle!

And the fat-talk train continues to its final destination where everyone departs feeling a little more empty, insecure and not good enough.

It’s awful. Yet we can’t seem to stop ourselves from participating in the fat frenzy. Which is why there is a school of thought that says: Don’t say the F word. No matter what, just don’t say it.


I completely understand that philosophy, but do not agree with it. I don’t believe the issue is the word itself. I believe the issue is we haven’t been taught to understand what we are really saying when we use the F word. And, we haven’t been taught the proper way to respond when someone else says it.

What we are really saying:

At the end of the day, when we say, “I feel fat,” what we are really saying is:

“I don’t feel good enough. I don’t feel lovable. I don’t feel worthy.”

Boy, if we said one of those instead, wouldn’t that be a different conversation?

How to respond when someone says Im fat:

The instant you hear someone drop the F-bomb, you now know what they are really saying. Instead of hearing “fat”, substitute “insecure/unloveable/not good enough”.

When you hear it that way, what is your immediate reaction?

Mine is to give a hug. To shed as much love as I possibly can on my friend, who, in this moment, has forgotten who she really is. She is momentarily blind, so it is up to me to see her beauty for her.

Touch is one of the most powerful healing tools we have. The next time someone you care about says she’s fat, do yourself a favor and give her a hug. Tell her she is beautiful. Stay in your loving and be there without joining in the downward spiral.

In fact, you can make a Fat Pact with your best friends today. Share this post with them and start a new ritual in your friendship – when someone drops the F-bomb, hugs and love must follow. Period.

I promise, this kind of exchange has the power to not only end fat talk, but also deepen your friendship.

So, take that F-word!

This guest post is from contributor Amber Krzys. Amber is a top speaker, coach, and “bodyhearter” who helps people have a body and life they LOVE! Amber is a graduate of Point Park University.

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